Soapbox of a stepmom

Since so many people ask how I can get along with my kids "other mother" so naturally and easily, I'll take a moment to explain.
First and foremost: my ex-husband and I both knew that in choosing divorce we were allowing someone else to parent our children. For me, this someone else would not be chosen by me, but by their father. I could love her or hate her, but its a choice I made my deciding to leave the marriage rather than save it. Fortunately I loved her from the moment I met her.
Second: She NEVER acted like the stepmom. And she never tried to one-up me, never tried to make me jealous, never  called the kids HIS kids. Basically, she loved my kids and accepted me as their mommy with all of my flaws and misgivings.
Third: I didn't treat her like the stepmom. I didn't throw my ex-husbands past sins in her face, I didn't tell her that there were duties that were mine and mine alone as their "real" mom and that she had no right to do them. I didn't use her husband as a manipulation tool, nor did I use the kids as leverage. I welcomed her as their family, their parent and their friend.
The fact is, she's important to them. Are there times they confide in her more than me? Absolutely. Are there times they prefer her house over mine? Of course. Sometimes she out-Chrismases me and out-birthdays me. She takes them to the doctor and the dentist when they need it and sometimes she does it without calling me to make sure I approve (gasp!).  They say she's awesome, and I don't resent her for it. They call her mom and I encourage it.  They love her, not almost as much as me, but the same. And she couldn't love them more if she'd carried them for eight months and been there from day one as I had.
My point is you can love the co-parent or hate them but I know from experience as a bio-mom and a step-mom that the way a woman treats her children's stepmother from day one will affect the way co-parenting is done for the rest of the children's lives, the rest of the new mommy's life and the rest of YOUR life. So mommy, be good to the stepmom because she loves your kids just as much as you and there's nothing you can do to change that (and chances are she has enough dirt on you to make your life miserable).

Sprinklers, lightning and fireworks

Just when I hit the 2.5 mile mark in tonight's run, the sprinklers came on at the Family History Center.  I let out a Michael Jackson-ish squeal, threw up my hands and danced through the water while lightning cracked the sky to my right and fireworks went off to my left.  At that moment I was ever so grateful for sprinklers, fireworks, and a reminder in the sky that life is about more than any of the many worries that ran through my head today.  It was a happy ending to a rather hectic week :-)

One year. Wow!

Wow, it's been nearly 3 months since my last blog post.  I was once told by a friend that he knew someone whose activity online directly reflected her somewhat messed up relationship with her husband and that the more unhappy she was in her personal life, the more she looked for validation on the internet.  While that is not the case with my blog absence, I will say I find that the happier I am, the more I forget about my phone, facebook and blog.  So, in a nutshell I am happy.  So happy that sometimes it feels like I've borrowed someone else's life and I don't want to give it back :)
It's interesting that today is the day I finally took the time to blog, because today is one year from the day that I moved back from California. I moved home broken and full of heartache with two plans.  One was to stay single and trust no one for a long, long time.  The other was to elope with my former fiance and ask the Lord to make it work, even though he had already made it known that he disapproved.  I never thought that in less than two weeks I would meet the man I want to spend forever with, or that I would fall in love with him so fast and so deeply.  And I would have laughed if someone told me that I would marry him in 7 weeks.  And that he was one of the few people I know who center their lives around Christ completely and that he would become my hero.
My hero got his patriarchal blessing last week and I was able to be there with him.  I love taking these steps with him and I feel bad that I'm sort of grateful for his years of inactivity in the church so that I can be with him for his blessing, receiving the Melchizedek priesthood and his endowments.  The blessing was beautiful and the day he goes to the temple will be amazing because he's preparing himself and trusting in the Lord to get him to that day.
George baptized our little Vanessa on the 19th of this month.  It was incredible watching them together making a special memory that they will both cherish for the rest of their lives.  I love my crazy family so much!  Her grandpa Leo confirmed her and just as he started the blessing, Vanessa opened her eyes and looked at me through a little space between two of the men in the circle around her.  I mouthed "I love you" and smiled at her and she smiled and mouthed the words back to me.  At that moment my heart exploded!  These six kids are mine.  This family is mine.  And for some reason they know I'm theirs and they love me.  I am truly the most blessed woman in the world!  I hope someday I feel worthy to be their momma, but until that day I'll just be grateful that they keep me.

Day 11 pt 5: The Industrial Wonders

Another installment from my Bucket List.  The 7 wonders of the Industrial world.  Sadly, even if I had the funds and time needed, I could only check off 6 of these wonders as the last one listed, the SS Great Eastern is no longer around.  I could visit the mast, which was (or is, I don't know) used as a flagpole for a stadium in London but quite frankly I have no desire to.

The Hoover Dam, Arizona and Nevada



The Panama Canal

The First Transcontinental Railroad, USA

The London Sewerage System

The Brooklyn Bridge

The Bell Rock lighthouse

The S.S. Great Eastern, of which only the mast remains

 

Day 11 pt 4: The Modern Wonders

This list is the 7 Wonders of the Modern World.  Although I would really like to check off these 7 items, I'd have to say this is on the bottom of my "7 Wonders" lists.

The Chunnel

The CN Tower

The Empire State Building in New York City

The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, CA

Itaipu Dam in South America

The Delta Works in The Netherlands

The Panama Canal

Day 11 pt 3: The Natural Wonders

The Seven Natural Wonders of the World.  This is the second on my four "7 Wonders" lists.  I haven't seen any of these yet, and I've been to or seen at least one place on each of my other three lists.

Victoria Falls, Southern Africa

Paricutin Volcano, Mexico

Aurora Borealis

Mt. Everest Himalayas

Harbor of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

The Great Barrier Reef, Australia

Grand Canyon, USA

Day 11 pt 2:The New Wonders

The "New" Seven Wonders of the World

On July 7, 2007 (07-07-07... weird, hu?) a "new" set of the Seven Wonders of the World was announced based on online voting from around the world.  Since I obviously can't visit the original Seven Wonders, the new list is on my list.

Chichen Itza, Mexico - Mayan City

Christ Redeemer, Brazil

Machu Picchu, Peru

Petra, Jordan

The Roman Colosseum, Italy

The Taj Mahal, India

The Great Wall of China

Day 11 pt 1: The Bucket List

Day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

First above anything else in this world I want to be sealed to my husband forever and ever. 
He is my everything and the thought of ever being without him is heartbreaking to me.

This encompasses several goals.  I want to run and walk each of the following:
5K, 10K, Half Marathon and Full Marathon
As well as do a triathlon as a team and on on my own.
this will take a looooooooooooong time!

How is it that I've lived in Utah most of my life and have never attended General Conference?

1 year supply

Sky diving... EEEK!

I want to see the world from above,
as I imagine the angels see it

Lady Liberty :-)

I've booked two cruises but both of them were singles cruises.
The first one I cancelled because I was getting married (the marriage cancelled too...)
And the second I cancelled because I was getting married again,
ironically on the date I should have been leaving for the cruise
(this marriage did NOT cancel!)

Most members of the LDS church will understand my desire to visit Navoo, Illinois

The Great Pyramid of Giza

For years now I've been interested in seeing the wonders of the world, and as I've researched I've found that there are several lists, and I don't want to stop at just one!  Because I have more than the usual 7 wonders, I made a post for each list.  Click on the following links to see them:
The New Wonders
The Natural Wonders
The Modern Wonders
The Industrial Wonders

Day 10

Day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
There are way too many to list but here are a few.

2 I listen to when angry:





2 I listen to when sad:




2 I listen to when hyped:



2 I listen to when happy:




4 I listen to when feeling sentimental/emotional (like we bipolars tend to do):

Our story through music

This played the day we met on the way to our hike at Echo park


This was playing the first time we kissed.  For reals, and it wasn't intentional either.  Afterward, George said "Maybe this is an appropriate song" (or something to that effect)




He was considering proposing when he heard this one:




I walked down the aisle to this:




And at our wedding we danced to this:



George played this for me after our first fight:




The kids and I sang to this in the car until I think all of them had it memorized:



We danced around the White House reception center to this one at the Relay for Life kick off:





The girls and I danced in the kitchen to this:
 



And that's just the beginning...