Saturday, April 25, 2015

"A moms love is stronger than a stepmoms love"

"My mom said she loves me more than you do. She also said she loves me more than dad does. A mothers love is stronger than a stepmothers love. It's also stronger than a dads love. My mom loves me most."
My daughter really just said that to me. Not out of anger. Not out of frustration. Just because she thought I should know. She said it when I said "I love you most" so that I could understand that it couldn't possibly be true because someone she trusts told her. Someone she trusts said she she can only be truly loved by one person.  Someone she trusts told her she isn't my whole world. And she believed them.  When she said those words that I'll never forget (no matter how long I live), my heart broke. I was suddenly speechless. It was like my breath had been knocked right out of me.  The diapers I didn't change, the 2 am feedings I missed, the firsts I didn't get, these were not my choice. Loving my children is.
I don't have to tell Vanessa that I love her more than her mother does just to make myself feel like mother of the year. I don't want to.  She doesn't have to share my DNA, my eyes, or my smile. She doesn't even have to allow me to love her as my own because like it or not, I love her anyway.
I hope my children never believe that they can only be completely, truly, incredibly loved by just one person. I hope they know that their Heavenly Father made them to be loved endlessly. I hope they allow themselves to feel that even when people around them tell them otherwise, they are miraculous to every life they touch.  I hope they know they're mine, but more importantly I hope they know that I pray for them to be loved by their other parents and step parents because they're worthy of that love.