Kiddies

I am no longer Amber and Company, family of 4 without a daddy but WE are now Amber, George and company, family of 8 with both a mommy and a daddy and a dog named Jack.  So, now I think I will change my blog, play with it a little bit, and add pictures of my wonderful family.  I don't talk much about my children on here and I just noticed that as I was scrolling through past blog posts.  So... here's a little bio on each of my beautiful children:

Seritta Merrell was born August 15 1997, which makes her 14 as of this post. She is quiet, level headed, slow to anger, and just plain sweet. She is tall and beautiful with dark hair and hazel eyes and she takes after George's family when it comes to looks. We've been playing around with makeup (especially eyeliner) and with or without it, the child is lovely. Most importantly, she's been the mother of her father's house. Because of that she's learned patience and kindness and she is an amazing example of true charity. She scrapbooks, journals, talks about boys, takes care of younger siblings like a pro, and reads her scriptures often. I feel like I can relate to her on a level I never expected.

Camilla Jade Hall was born August 17 1998 and is 13. She is short and adorable, looks like me but has her aunt Hillary's cute pouty lips and chin. She has one of those faces that can pull of any look, but with her height (or lack thereof) she looks younger than she is. Throw some makeup on that girl and she suddenly becomes a teenager. Sometimes I look at her and my heart almost breaks at the thought of her in three years when she's 16 because she really does get more beautiful every year. She's so very kind hearted and joined me in donating ALL of her hair a few years ago for cancer victims. She gets her feelings hurt because she is so tender and would never intentionally hurt another person, therefore she has a hard time understanding. She wants to do what's right, loves her family and the gospel, and she is loved by everyone around her.

Jarom Chase Hall was born April 15 2000.  He's so very serious and cautious.  He is concerned about things around him, and worries about his family and friends.  He's smart.  Like, super smart.  He skipped a grade last year and caught up in about 6 months.  He has thoughts that are incredible, often too deep for me to understand.  He has dark hair and hazel eyes like his dad but he looks enough like me that people often say he takes after my side of the family, until they see him next to his daddy.  That child is the clone of his father, with a dash of Sadlier thrown in.  He's so sweet and sometimes has to fight back tears when he sees an injustice.  He's also a little small for his age but he makes up for it in his strong personality (ok, its more like attitude but whatever!).

Dominick Merrell was born April 29 2002 and he turned 9 this year.  He's ALL BOY.  He plays sports, farts, burps, shoots things like prairie dogs and dragonflies (really) and adores his dad.  He's the only blonde and I've been trying to decide who he looks like.  I have a picture of his dad at his age and he does look a lot like a Merrell but I can see some of his mothers side in him as well.  He is into sports and George is wonderful about helping with and going to games.

Adam Stanley Meager was born November 13 2002 and will be nine in a few months.  He is crazy, funny, carefree and intense!  When he's happy, he's hecka happy and when he's sad, the whole world is crashing down.  He's also very much a boy and he and Dominick are best friends.  He tells jokes and stories and loves to play with other people.  He looks like me, with dark hair and eyes and just enough of Steve to look like a Meager.  He's a crackup and sooooooooo fun to hang out with!

Vanessa Merrell is our baby, born March 2004.  She's a diva through and through.  She thinks she rules the house, and she sorta does.  She has lots of attitude and personality and pretty much gets whatever she wants because she's so headstrong.  I fear we may have some clashing with her soon, simply because she's used to ruling the roost, and thats now my job!  I love Vanessa so much for who she is, probably because she's so much like me.  She looks just like her mother with dark hair and eyes, but she loves her daddy.  She and I look enough alike that she could pass for mine easily, and we love each other just like she was born mine.  She can kick her brothers butt when it comes to wrestling, but she pouts and bats her eyes like any princess, which is what George calls her.  Click here to read another post about Vanessa.

I would love to elaborate on the children as a family, and not just individually but I am out of time today.  I must go get my boy from school and pretend to clean my home.  I will just say I love these children and I'm so very happy that I get to mother them :-)

88 hours 45 minutes

88 hours and 45 minutes until my wedding.  And I'm not ready.  I don't think I'll ever be ready.  I'm excited and not afraid about marrying this wonderful man, but worried about how the families will blend.  I wonder if it will be hard or if it will come naturally.  I hope it isn't like a warzone it our house.  Our house... the sound of that is so amazing :-)  Our house, and our kids and our life.  And what a wonderful life I'm anticipating with a man who loves me, loves the Lord and loves his children.  And I thought moving to Vernal meant giving up my chances at marriage so that my kids could be near their dad.  How wrong I was, and how grateful I am that I came back and found my future waiting right here at home.

Pre-wedding stress

Two weeks from tomorrow is my wedding day.  While I'm stressed that all of the planning has to be done in such a short amount of time, the wedding isn't the main worry tonight.  It isn't even the issue of moving a family of four in with another family of four and becoming a family of eight.  In a three bedroom house.  With six children born over a period of six and a half years.  Or moving all three bedrooms around so the three girls get the biggest room since two of the girls will be teenagers and praying that those two teenage girls who are suddenly sisters become best friends rather than mortal enemies.  It's not having all three boys (two of them only six months apart) in the smallest bedroom and hoping they survive each other.  And that the bedroom and furniture survive them.
Tonight, while my soon to be husband is at work and my son is sleeping on the couch as I update the blog rather than work on moving the bedrooms, I find myself feeling scared and excited and wishing I had more time but also hoping the next two weeks passes quickly.  Now we'll have a husband and daddy who loves us and wants to take care of us.  And he really does love us, and he really does want to take care of us. 
I just hope it doesn't go away like it has in the past, over and over.  I hope we'll have a happy loving family with children raised in a home centered around Christ and the gospel.  And I hope and pray that I don't fail again as a wife, because more than ever I just want my children to understand that life is about more than parties and dances and endless dating.  I don't want them to believe that marriage is disposable, that relationships are temporary or that daddies leave when things get too tough.  But it's so very hard to expect the kids to believe in happily ever after when I've proven to them that it doesn't exist.  So tonight I will pray that I can finally show them it does.

The invitations :)

http://www.pingg.com/rsvp/tpxii73a84t5ypjn6

The Proposal

The boyfriend is now the Fiance!

Not sure if I've even mentioned his name on here because I was trying to avoid drama if this didn't work out. Apparently it will work out perfectly. He is George Merrell, and he is wonderful. I met George years ago as a child I'm sure, although neither of us remembers the other. I think we were in the same ward, as he lived only a few miles away and knew my older brothers. Back in October or November (can't remember) our friend Misti... who I now owe my LIFE to... introduced us on Facebook and he sent a message now and again, completely disappearing during the times I was in a relationship and engaged but popping back up when I was single. I moved back in May, and we went on a hike June 11 with his three children and my Adam.  Pictures were posted on Facebook that night and everyone assumed we were dating and had been for a while. 3 days later he held my hand for the first time and 3 weeks plus a day after that, on July 6 he proposed. Add it up, and we had 3 1/2 weeks from first meeting to engaged. We'll be married August 4th, less than 2 months after meeting.

I don't know exactly how it happened, or how fast. Many of my friends say I'm crazy, that I'm on a rebound, not thinking straight because of my recent breakup, lonely or just want a daddy here for Adam. All I know is that I've prayed, had a bishops blessing and felt peace and happiness.  I truly believe the spirit is present when we're together in his home, watching our children and planning our future. George fasted and prayed before proposing and I know he loves the Lord, he loves the gospel, and he listens to the spirit. Had he not gotten an answer that this is right, we wouldn't be together planning forever. I love this man, I love his children, and I love the thought of knowing he'll be mine every day for forever.

All this talk of forever... does this mean temple marriage? Unfortunately not yet. I am still sealed to my first husband and anyone who has experienced this in the church knows how long it can take for a sealing cancellation to process. We both have some steps to take before we're at that point, and hopefully soon I'll be able to submit the paperwork to the first presidency.

And finally... THE PROPOSAL!

Last Wednesday we went to Red Canyon Lodge up by Flaming Gorge dam for dinner. I had been hoping and feeling a proposal was on the way, however I didn't expect it that night and I thought his niece (one of my best friends since we were babies and still one of my favorite people) had just given him my ring size a few days earlier.

After dinner, we went to the lookout where the weather was perfect and the view was beautiful. He kissed me, took my hand, and asked me to marry him.  It sounds so cheesy on here and doesn't even compare to the thoughts and feelings that were in that moment. I was full of love and happiness as I looked at the man I adore and thought of our future together.