Let them struggle together

Last week, my daughter went through spinal fusion surgery and was in the hospital the entire week. It was definitely an experience we'll never forget. 
We left our other children together at home, being checked on and fed by grandma and our amazing neighbors, friends and family. It was so important to me that my children be together to prepare our house for the homecoming of their sister, to support one another and to pray together. 
Wednesday was definitely the hardest and most painful day for all of us. Cami was experiencing much physical pain and that caused a lot of heartache for the parents. 
On that very bad day, someone tried to take two of the kids under the guise that it would lessen the stress on the children.  I was hurt and angry. I shouldn't have been focusing on this drama but I felt as if I had abandoned my other children as I sat next to my daughter, who was sobbing in her hospital bed. I wondered if my husband should have stayed with them or if I didn't really know what I was doing at all and was putting them under too much stress. I suddenly questioned my choice to allow them to experience this. I even found myself on the phone with Child Services over the ordeal.
I don't write this in hopes of getting sympathy or attention. The purpose of this post is to offer my fellow scolio parents and anyone going through a major change involving their children a bit of advice and here it is:
If you have other children, let them stress. Let them worry.  Let them be strengthened by the weight of those burdens placed on the family and let them see blessings that come from working and praying for someone they love.
I watched my children carefully settle their sister in the house and it was a strength to me, as their mother.  Her brother, Dominick hasn't left his sisters side, even sleeping on the couch next to her.  I really believe that if they hadn't been there when she'd arrived home, he wouldn't feel such a connection.  They were there to show love and support and they were the first people she saw upon her arrival. 
If I can offer anything to those of you going through this, it's the reassurance that your family is strong enough to handle it. Let them be uncomfortable together so they can celebrate the successes after the pain.  Don't let anyone take the experience from them. Don't let anyone tell you that they can't handle the stress. 
Through this, many people told me "You can do hard things".   I learned  that was very true, but even better, I learned that together we can do even harder things. 💙

"A moms love is stronger than a stepmoms love"

"My mom said she loves me more than you do. She also said she loves me more than dad does. A mothers love is stronger than a stepmothers love. It's also stronger than a dads love. My mom loves me most."
My daughter really just said that to me. Not out of anger. Not out of frustration. Just because she thought I should know. She said it when I said "I love you most" so that I could understand that it couldn't possibly be true because someone she trusts told her. Someone she trusts said she she can only be truly loved by one person.  Someone she trusts told her she isn't my whole world. And she believed them.  When she said those words that I'll never forget (no matter how long I live), my heart broke. I was suddenly speechless. It was like my breath had been knocked right out of me.  The diapers I didn't change, the 2 am feedings I missed, the firsts I didn't get, these were not my choice. Loving my children is.
I don't have to tell Vanessa that I love her more than her mother does just to make myself feel like mother of the year. I don't want to.  She doesn't have to share my DNA, my eyes, or my smile. She doesn't even have to allow me to love her as my own because like it or not, I love her anyway.
I hope my children never believe that they can only be completely, truly, incredibly loved by just one person. I hope they know that their Heavenly Father made them to be loved endlessly. I hope they allow themselves to feel that even when people around them tell them otherwise, they are miraculous to every life they touch.  I hope they know they're mine, but more importantly I hope they know that I pray for them to be loved by their other parents and step parents because they're worthy of that love.

Peace vs Revenge

I believe in Karma 100%  

Last year evil knocked on my door. That evil tried to take away the family I've worked so hard for. It was truly my darkest hour and definitely a make it or break it time for my family. I watched my husband turn to The Lord as I focused on the incredible pain and depression that turned into anger and hate.  I wanted revenge. I needed revenge. I would not stop until justice was served.  I could not stop because I felt it my duty to protect other families from that same evil that had invaded my home. My family. My life. 

For months I waited for the perfect moment, the perfect mistake. The person responsible hid like a coward, lying about her involvement until the agency involved made a huge mistake and I discovered details that uncovered the source of all that had transpired and changed my life forever.  

And I made sure she knew that I knew. She knew that I was angry. She knew that I would take away her happiness at any cost. My children saw and experienced the situation and the reality of the unfairness of life. They asked to testify. They asked to yell at her and make her realize what she had done. They felt the pain and saw the tears and wanted her to feel what we had felt. We all wanted her to feel unsafe in her life. Unsafe within the walls of her  own home, as we did ours. 

But I couldn't do it. I promised her I would make her life miserable. And I realized the poisonous hate I had for her was consuming me. 

So I sat back and decided to let Karma take care of her. Karma gives back what she is given, and I trusted her to do the job better than I ever could. And as a bonus, I wouldn't have to feel guilty because after all, Karma was causing the pain, not me. 

Then in December, the plot took an unexpected turn. Just days before Christmas, I was given the perfect opportunity to help Karma in this situation. All it would have taken was one phone call and I could make this woman feel the terror a mother feels at the possibility of losing her family.  I could make her sorry for what she had done.  I wanted to make her sorry. 

But I didn't. As difficult as it was to do, I just let it go. This woman had brought a lot of heartache to my children's lives and hurting her would hurt them again. Watching me cause pain in someone else's life would have taught them that hate and revenge are more important than forgiveness and kindness. So I didn't make the call. I DID let her know that I could invite the same evil into her home that she did mine. And once again, she cowered. She hid her face, offering no apology for her actions, no thanks to me for walking away from the revenge I'd been waiting for. 

And now, Karma is paying her a visit. Her bad choices are coming back to her. Her life is slowly falling apart. This is where I finally believe I can find peace and assurance that she deserves the discontent in her life, her marriage and her home, right?  Where I can rest assured that Karma really will do a better job than I could.... right?

And I don't. I don't feel justified. I don't want to sit back in a comfy chair with popcorn and  soda watching this story play out. I don't find peace in knowing that she did this to herself and I didn't have to get my hands dirty. Instead I feel pity for her. I feel sadness for the way it will affect my children. I feel guilt for wishing misery on her. 

And this is where I find my peace. I find relief in the knowledge that the hurt in my life hasn't poisoned me to the point of wanting to watch someone hurt, even someone as selfish as this woman.  And I feel gratitude  to my husband, who didn't let this consume him and led by example. My husband, who turned to prayer and scripture study when I couldn't. My husband, who has fought  his own demons and will always do so, but asked for peace instead of heartache. He's learned through experience what it feels like to be the cause of someone else's pain and  although he's not perfect, he tries. He's been shown love and forgiveness when he didn't feel deserving of it and he wants to pay that forward.

The effects of this experience will last the rest of our lives and it'll be a long time before we feel safe again, but knowing that we could have caused hurt but chose to focus on our family and on creating peace in our lives instead of hatred and revenge toward the one and only person I've ever hated in my entire life is what I believe to be the first step in the healing process. 

We don't fit the Mormon mold. But we'll pray for those who do.

Ok, it's been just a little while since I've blogged and for whatever reason I find that today I'm sorta sad but I don't particularly want to blast it all over social media. Instead I shall blog about it like Mormon women tend to do, attach a link to my Facebook and rest assured knowing that most scroll right past as I generally do when a blog link ends up in my news feed. Anyone who takes the time to read this is either bored, concerned about me, or a stalker like George's ex-wife and her family (stalk away, heaven knows I do the same to you)
The topic of today's blog is very close to my heart and very misunderstood by those around me. At this point I've shaved part of my head (how could I possibly turn down a dare from my teenagers?). I have what should have been 9 new ear piercings, but my most favorite one ever fell out and I had to remove the stud from my tragus as I pierced too close to my face and ended up piercing the muscle, this causing irritability when I smiled.
Three new tattoos have appeared on my body and a the moon and stars on my ankle that was chosen from the wall of a filthy tattoo parlor in 2000 has been modified to include the birthstones of all six of my children. The tiny stud I loved so much once again sparkles in the perfect place on my nostril.
And (brace yourself)... I skipped church today. (Seriously, as I typed that last sentence, the bishops grandson stopped by for fast offerings and I noticed him at the door just as I screamed "SHUT UP!!!" At the dogs. The poor kid looked terrified). Don't fret, I am just down with the flu. I'll be back next week, sticking out like a sore thumb.
Have I apostatized? Am I leaving the church?  Um... no.
HOWEVER... (That's a very big however)... Many people might at this point.
Why? Because Mormons pity those who don't meet a certain standard. Yes, they pity. They pity the body that was given to me by my Heavenly Father because they see the ink in my skin, the adorable flower shaped studs in my ears and  the missing hair on my left side that I've grown so fond of. They pity my girls because they see their side-shaves as unfeminine, thereby a mockery of their role as clean, socially acceptable, righteous and good LDS girls.
And how do I know they pity?  Maybe I don't. Maybe it's in my head because I'm on the wrong path, not living up to gospel standards, not being a good example to the youth of the world, etc. I've heard it all. I've pitied the Mormon women who didn't fit the mold. I've prayed for them and found strength in knowing my sisters in the church were praying for them as well.
Don't think the church has been a negative in my life. We saw a lot of good. A LOT OF GOOD. And we will never forget the good. We'll never forget the neighbors helping when my brother had his seizure. We'll never forget the meals brought in when mom had her surgery. We'll never forget the Christmas parties where we were loved by Santa just as much as the other kids in the ward were. The list goes on and on.
That doesn't mean we don't remember the bad at times. And when I see the girls in my ward smiling at my daughters in the same way one smiles at a homeless person on the street, it reminds me that I got those looks too. And it hurts like hell. When we go to church functions and eyes flicker to the new tattoo that I couldn't cover because it was still healing, I instantly think of who I was ten years ago when I fit into that mold. What would I have thought? Would I have prayed for the poor misguided soul? Would I have counseled her through private messages or cowardly texts to remove the ghastly piercings, cover the tattoos and grow a beautiful mane of hair to fit in?
I would love to say no. I would love to say I wouldn't have been a part of the crowd ignoring the outcast. But I don't think I can. And I don't know how I feel about that. I really truly don't. Because I was so very happy at that point in my life. Probably more so than at any other point. But the big question was, how happy did I make other people by pitying them and making them my lds project, to be drawn back into the fold?
With all of that in mind, I now watch my daughters at the ages if 16 and 17 deal with the same issue I have. Especially Camilla. Her Mormon friends don't want a girl with a side shave. No Mormon boy would go out with a girl who so obviously puts the worldly trends before what's accepted in  the Vernal, Utah Mormon standard.
But her standards are high. Too high for the "other" kids. She lives like a Mormon girl, but doesn't look like one. And I see her suffer for it. I see the pity in the eyes of the young women. My girls hear their whispers. And I don't want to take her. Not at all. Not to Sunday meetings. Not to weekly youth activities. Not to any of it.
But I do. Because she believes the teachings just as much as I do.   While getting ready for church last Sunday, my Seritta made a comment about feeling as if the other girls would stone mine given the chance.
And yet, we go. We love this gospel. We love the teachings. We love the temple. We love the amazing people in the ward who love and accept us. And once again, I will pray for my sisters. For those who have taught their children to shun kids who don't uplift them, rather than uplifting the girls who may need it. I'll pray for the moms who shit talk me and my kids in front of their children. The children my kids have to go to school with. I'll pray for those who have "left the flock" by being unwelcoming and judgmental.
And I'll hope that what I've taught my girls will pull them through the frustrations of living in a religion where those who should love you most, simply don't. That harsh reality will forever be a part of our church and it's so very heartbreaking to me.

Soapbox of a stepmom

Since so many people ask how I can get along with my kids "other mother" so naturally and easily, I'll take a moment to explain.
First and foremost: my ex-husband and I both knew that in choosing divorce we were allowing someone else to parent our children. For me, this someone else would not be chosen by me, but by their father. I could love her or hate her, but its a choice I made my deciding to leave the marriage rather than save it. Fortunately I loved her from the moment I met her.
Second: She NEVER acted like the stepmom. And she never tried to one-up me, never tried to make me jealous, never  called the kids HIS kids. Basically, she loved my kids and accepted me as their mommy with all of my flaws and misgivings.
Third: I didn't treat her like the stepmom. I didn't throw my ex-husbands past sins in her face, I didn't tell her that there were duties that were mine and mine alone as their "real" mom and that she had no right to do them. I didn't use her husband as a manipulation tool, nor did I use the kids as leverage. I welcomed her as their family, their parent and their friend.
The fact is, she's important to them. Are there times they confide in her more than me? Absolutely. Are there times they prefer her house over mine? Of course. Sometimes she out-Chrismases me and out-birthdays me. She takes them to the doctor and the dentist when they need it and sometimes she does it without calling me to make sure I approve (gasp!).  They say she's awesome, and I don't resent her for it. They call her mom and I encourage it.  They love her, not almost as much as me, but the same. And she couldn't love them more if she'd carried them for eight months and been there from day one as I had.
My point is you can love the co-parent or hate them but I know from experience as a bio-mom and a step-mom that the way a woman treats her children's stepmother from day one will affect the way co-parenting is done for the rest of the children's lives, the rest of the new mommy's life and the rest of YOUR life. So mommy, be good to the stepmom because she loves your kids just as much as you and there's nothing you can do to change that (and chances are she has enough dirt on you to make your life miserable).

Sprinklers, lightning and fireworks

Just when I hit the 2.5 mile mark in tonight's run, the sprinklers came on at the Family History Center.  I let out a Michael Jackson-ish squeal, threw up my hands and danced through the water while lightning cracked the sky to my right and fireworks went off to my left.  At that moment I was ever so grateful for sprinklers, fireworks, and a reminder in the sky that life is about more than any of the many worries that ran through my head today.  It was a happy ending to a rather hectic week :-)

One year. Wow!

Wow, it's been nearly 3 months since my last blog post.  I was once told by a friend that he knew someone whose activity online directly reflected her somewhat messed up relationship with her husband and that the more unhappy she was in her personal life, the more she looked for validation on the internet.  While that is not the case with my blog absence, I will say I find that the happier I am, the more I forget about my phone, facebook and blog.  So, in a nutshell I am happy.  So happy that sometimes it feels like I've borrowed someone else's life and I don't want to give it back :)
It's interesting that today is the day I finally took the time to blog, because today is one year from the day that I moved back from California. I moved home broken and full of heartache with two plans.  One was to stay single and trust no one for a long, long time.  The other was to elope with my former fiance and ask the Lord to make it work, even though he had already made it known that he disapproved.  I never thought that in less than two weeks I would meet the man I want to spend forever with, or that I would fall in love with him so fast and so deeply.  And I would have laughed if someone told me that I would marry him in 7 weeks.  And that he was one of the few people I know who center their lives around Christ completely and that he would become my hero.
My hero got his patriarchal blessing last week and I was able to be there with him.  I love taking these steps with him and I feel bad that I'm sort of grateful for his years of inactivity in the church so that I can be with him for his blessing, receiving the Melchizedek priesthood and his endowments.  The blessing was beautiful and the day he goes to the temple will be amazing because he's preparing himself and trusting in the Lord to get him to that day.
George baptized our little Vanessa on the 19th of this month.  It was incredible watching them together making a special memory that they will both cherish for the rest of their lives.  I love my crazy family so much!  Her grandpa Leo confirmed her and just as he started the blessing, Vanessa opened her eyes and looked at me through a little space between two of the men in the circle around her.  I mouthed "I love you" and smiled at her and she smiled and mouthed the words back to me.  At that moment my heart exploded!  These six kids are mine.  This family is mine.  And for some reason they know I'm theirs and they love me.  I am truly the most blessed woman in the world!  I hope someday I feel worthy to be their momma, but until that day I'll just be grateful that they keep me.

Day 11 pt 5: The Industrial Wonders

Another installment from my Bucket List.  The 7 wonders of the Industrial world.  Sadly, even if I had the funds and time needed, I could only check off 6 of these wonders as the last one listed, the SS Great Eastern is no longer around.  I could visit the mast, which was (or is, I don't know) used as a flagpole for a stadium in London but quite frankly I have no desire to.

The Hoover Dam, Arizona and Nevada



The Panama Canal

The First Transcontinental Railroad, USA

The London Sewerage System

The Brooklyn Bridge

The Bell Rock lighthouse

The S.S. Great Eastern, of which only the mast remains

 

Day 11 pt 4: The Modern Wonders

This list is the 7 Wonders of the Modern World.  Although I would really like to check off these 7 items, I'd have to say this is on the bottom of my "7 Wonders" lists.

The Chunnel

The CN Tower

The Empire State Building in New York City

The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, CA

Itaipu Dam in South America

The Delta Works in The Netherlands

The Panama Canal

Day 11 pt 3: The Natural Wonders

The Seven Natural Wonders of the World.  This is the second on my four "7 Wonders" lists.  I haven't seen any of these yet, and I've been to or seen at least one place on each of my other three lists.

Victoria Falls, Southern Africa

Paricutin Volcano, Mexico

Aurora Borealis

Mt. Everest Himalayas

Harbor of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

The Great Barrier Reef, Australia

Grand Canyon, USA

Day 11 pt 2:The New Wonders

The "New" Seven Wonders of the World

On July 7, 2007 (07-07-07... weird, hu?) a "new" set of the Seven Wonders of the World was announced based on online voting from around the world.  Since I obviously can't visit the original Seven Wonders, the new list is on my list.

Chichen Itza, Mexico - Mayan City

Christ Redeemer, Brazil

Machu Picchu, Peru

Petra, Jordan

The Roman Colosseum, Italy

The Taj Mahal, India

The Great Wall of China

Day 11 pt 1: The Bucket List

Day 11- write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die

First above anything else in this world I want to be sealed to my husband forever and ever. 
He is my everything and the thought of ever being without him is heartbreaking to me.

This encompasses several goals.  I want to run and walk each of the following:
5K, 10K, Half Marathon and Full Marathon
As well as do a triathlon as a team and on on my own.
this will take a looooooooooooong time!

How is it that I've lived in Utah most of my life and have never attended General Conference?

1 year supply

Sky diving... EEEK!

I want to see the world from above,
as I imagine the angels see it

Lady Liberty :-)

I've booked two cruises but both of them were singles cruises.
The first one I cancelled because I was getting married (the marriage cancelled too...)
And the second I cancelled because I was getting married again,
ironically on the date I should have been leaving for the cruise
(this marriage did NOT cancel!)

Most members of the LDS church will understand my desire to visit Navoo, Illinois

The Great Pyramid of Giza

For years now I've been interested in seeing the wonders of the world, and as I've researched I've found that there are several lists, and I don't want to stop at just one!  Because I have more than the usual 7 wonders, I made a post for each list.  Click on the following links to see them:
The New Wonders
The Natural Wonders
The Modern Wonders
The Industrial Wonders

Day 10

Day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
There are way too many to list but here are a few.

2 I listen to when angry:





2 I listen to when sad:




2 I listen to when hyped:



2 I listen to when happy:




4 I listen to when feeling sentimental/emotional (like we bipolars tend to do):

Our story through music

This played the day we met on the way to our hike at Echo park


This was playing the first time we kissed.  For reals, and it wasn't intentional either.  Afterward, George said "Maybe this is an appropriate song" (or something to that effect)




He was considering proposing when he heard this one:




I walked down the aisle to this:




And at our wedding we danced to this:



George played this for me after our first fight:




The kids and I sang to this in the car until I think all of them had it memorized:



We danced around the White House reception center to this one at the Relay for Life kick off:





The girls and I danced in the kitchen to this:
 



And that's just the beginning...
 

Day 9

day 9- something you’re proud of in the past few days

I re-pierced my nose... all by myself :-)  I am a weenie when it comes to pain but I did it!

Day 8

Day 8- short term goals for this month and why

Funny this one came up now, because I just wrote down my short and long term goals without realizing this post was coming up.
1. Finish the Doctorine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price by my birthday
2. Take down the Christmas lights (really) and clean up the side yard.  It's 10 minutes worth of work, I just haven't done it.
3. Finish one value in the Young Women's Personal Progress book.
4. Paint the trim in the downstairs bathroom.

5. Write a letter to the First Presidency requesting a sealing cancellation from my ex-husband.

I don't want to write the letter.  I've had years to write it and have even done it a time or two but haven't wanted to turn it in until I had someone to be sealed to.  Well, now I have someone to be sealed to who actually wants to be sealed to me as well so I guess I'd better get on it and get it over with!

Day 7

Day 7- a picture of someone/something that has had the biggest impact on you.
I'm going with the obvious on this one and posting a picture of my husband.  I've thought of several people because I've mentioned him a million times on here but really, he's changed my life forever and made me want to be a better person.  Everything about him is wonderful :-)

Day 6

Day 6- favorite super hero and why.

Ok, it's been a week since I blogged, but the 30 days of blogging idea didn't necessarily say 30 days in a row, right?

Favorite super hero?  That would be Samson from the Old Testament.  I've posted the story below, so if you want to know why... read on :)  I copied and pasted from LDS.org and it didn't copy everything the way it should have but it's good enough.

Chapter 13

Israel is in Philistine bondage for forty years—An angel comes to Manoah’s wife and promises a son who will begin to deliver Israel—The angel comes again; he ascends in a flame from the altar—Samson is born, and the Spirit of the Lord moves upon him.
1 And the children of Israel did aevil again in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord delivered them into the bhand of the Philistines forty years.
2 ¶And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren, and bare not.
3 And the aangel of the Lord appeared unto the woman, and said unto her, Behold now, thou art bbarren, and bearest not: but thou shalt conceive, and bear a son.
4 Now therefore beware, I pray thee, and adrink not wine nor strong drink, and eat not any bunclean thing:
5 For, lo, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son; and no arazor shall come on his head: for the child shall be a Nazarite unto God from the womb: and he shall begin to bdeliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.
6 ¶Then the woman came and told her husband, saying, A man of God came unto me, and his countenance was like the countenance of an aangel of God, very terrible: but I asked him not whence he was, neither told he me his name:
7 But he said unto me, Behold, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son; and now drink no wine nor strong drink, neither eat any unclean thing: for the child shall be a Nazarite to God from the womb to the day of his death.
8 ¶Then Manoah intreated the Lord, and said, O my Lord, let the man of God which thou didst send come again unto us, and teach us what we shall do unto the child that shall be born.
9 And God hearkened to the voice of Manoah; and the angel of God came again unto the woman as she sat in the field: but Manoah her husband was not with her.
10 And the woman made haste, and ran, and shewed her husband, and said unto him, Behold, the man hath appeared unto me, that came unto me the other day.
11 And Manoah arose, and went after his wife, and came to the man, and said unto him, Art thou the man that spakest unto the woman? And he said, I am.
12 And Manoah said, Now let thy words come to pass. How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?
13 And the angel of the Lord said unto Manoah, Of all that I said unto the woman let her beware.
14 She may not eat of any thing that cometh of the vine, neither let her drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing: all that I commanded her let her observe.
15 ¶And Manoah said unto the angel of the Lord, I pray thee, let us detain thee, until we shall have made ready a kid for thee.
16 And the angel of the Lord said unto Manoah, Though thou detain me, I will not eat of thy bread: and if thou wilt offer a burnt offering, thou must offer it unto the Lord. For Manoah knew not that he was an angel of the Lord.
17 And Manoah said unto the angel of the Lord, What is thy name, that when thy sayings come to pass we may do thee honour?
18 And the angel of the Lord said unto him, Why askest thou thus after my name, seeing it is asecret?
19 So Manoah took a kid with a ameat boffering, and offered it upon a rock unto the Lord: and the angel did wondrously; and Manoah and his wife looked on.
20 For it came to pass, when the flame went up toward heaven from off the altar, that the angel of the Lord ascended in the flame of the altar. And Manoah and his wife looked on it, and fell on their faces to the ground.
21 But the angel of the Lord did no more appear to Manoah and to his wife. Then Manoah knew that he was an angel of the Lord.
22 And Manoah said unto his wife, We shall surely die, because we have aseen God.
23 But his wife said unto him, If the Lord were pleased to kill us, he would not have received a burnt offering and a meat offering at our hands, neither would he have shewed us all these things, nor would as at this time have told us such things as these.
24 ¶And the woman bare a son, and called his name Samson: and the child grew, and the Lord blessed him.
25 And the Spirit of the Lord began to move him at times in the camp of Dan between Zorah and Eshtaol.
Chapter 14

Samson slays a young lion with his bare hands—He marries a Philistine wife, propounds a riddle, is deceived by his wife, and slays thirty Philistines.
1 And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines.
2 And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now therefore get her for me to wife.
3 Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a awife of the buncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well.
4 But his father and his mother knew not that it was of the aLord, that he sought an occasion against the Philistines: for at that time the Philistines had bdominion over Israel.
5 ¶Then went Samson down, and his father and his mother, to Timnath, and came to the vineyards of Timnath: and, behold, a young lion roared against him.
6 And the aSpirit of the Lord came mightily upon him, and he rent him as he would have rent a kid, and he had nothing in his hand: but he told not his father or his mother what he had done.
7 And he went down, and talked with the woman; and she pleased Samson well.
8 ¶And after a time he returned to take her, and he turned aside to see the carcase of the lion: and, behold, there was a swarm of bees and honey in the carcase of the lion.
9 And he took thereof in his hands, and went on eating, and came to his father and mother, and he gave them, and they did eat: but he told not them that he had taken the honey out of the carcase of the lion.
10 ¶So his father went down unto the woman: and Samson made there a afeast; for so used the young men to do.
11 And it came to pass, when they saw him, that they brought thirty companions to be with him.
12 ¶And Samson said unto them, I will now put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare it me within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you thirty asheets and thirty change of garments:
13 But if ye cannot declare it me, then shall ye give me thirty sheets and thirty change of garments. And they said unto him, Put forth thy riddle, that we may hear it.
14 And he said unto them, Out of the eater came forth meat, and out of the strong came forth sweetness. And they could not in three days expound the riddle.
15 And it came to pass on the seventh day, that they said unto Samson’s wife, aEntice thy husband, that he may declare unto us the riddle, lest we bburn thee and thy father’s house with fire: have ye called us to take that we have? is it not so?
16 And Samson’s wife wept before him, and said, Thou dost but hate me, and lovest me not: thou hast put forth a ariddle unto the children of my people, and hast not told it me. And he said unto her, Behold, I have not told it my father nor my mother, and shall I tell it thee?
17 And she wept before him the seven days, while their feast lasted: and it came to pass on the seventh day, that he told her, because she alay sore upon him: and she told the riddle to the children of her people.
18 And the men of the city said unto him on the seventh day before the sun went down, What is sweeter than honey? and what is stronger than a lion? And he said unto them, If ye had not plowed with my heifer, ye had not found out my riddle.
19 ¶And the Spirit of the Lord came upon him, and he went down to Ashkelon, and slew thirty men of them, and took their spoil, and gave change of garments unto them which expounded the riddle. And his anger was kindled, and he went up to his father’s house.
20 But Samson’s wife was given to his companion, whom he had used as his friend.
Chapter 15

Samson burns the grain of the Philistines—They burn his wife and father-in-law—Samson slays a thousand Philistines at Lehi with the jawbone of an ass.
1 But it came to pass within a while after, in the time of wheat harvest, that Samson visited his wife with a kid; and he said, I will go in to my wife into the chamber. But her father would not suffer him to go in.
2 And her father said, I verily thought that thou hadst utterly hated her; therefore I gave her to thy companion: is not her younger sister fairer than she? take her, I pray thee, instead of her.
3 ¶And Samson said concerning them, Now shall I be more blameless than the Philistines, though I do them a displeasure.
4 And Samson went and caught three hundred foxes, and took firebrands, and turned tail to tail, and put a firebrand in the midst between two tails.
5 And when he had set the brands on fire, he let them go into the standing corn of the Philistines, and aburnt up both the shocks, and also the standing bcorn, with the vineyards and colives.
6 ¶Then the Philistines said, Who hath done this? And they answered, Samson, the son in law of the Timnite, because he had taken his wife, and given her to his companion. And the Philistines came up, and aburnt her and bher father with fire.
7 ¶And Samson said unto them, aThough ye have done this, yet will I be avenged of you, and after that I will cease.
8 And he smote them hip and thigh with a great slaughter: and he went down and dwelt in the top of the rock Etam.
9 ¶Then the Philistines went up, and pitched in Judah, and spread themselves in Lehi.
10 And the men of Judah said, Why are ye come up against us? And they answered, To bind Samson are we come up, to do to him as he hath done to us.
11 Then three thousand men of Judah went to the top of the rock Etam, and said to Samson, Knowest thou not that the Philistines are arulers over us? what is this that thou hast done unto us? And he said unto them, As they did unto me, so have I done unto them.
12 And they said unto him, We are come down to bind thee, that we may deliver thee into the hand of the Philistines. And Samson said unto them, Swear unto me, that ye will not fall upon me yourselves.
13 And they spake unto him, saying, No; but we will bind thee fast, and deliver thee into their hand: but surely we will not kill thee. And they bound him with two new cords, and brought him up from the rock.
14 ¶And when he came unto Lehi, the Philistines shouted against him: and the Spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him, and the cords that were upon his arms became as flax that was burnt with fire, and his bands aloosed from off his hands.
15 And he found a new jawbone of an ass, and put forth his hand, and took it, and slew a thousand men therewith.
16 And Samson said, With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men.
17 And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking, that he cast away the jawbone out of his hand, and called that place Ramath-lehi.
18 ¶And he was asore athirst, and called on the Lord, and said, Thou hast given this great deliverance into the hand of thy servant: and now shall I die for thirst, and fall into the hand of the uncircumcised?
19 aBut God clave an hollow place that was in the jaw, and there came water thereout; and when he had drunk, his spirit came again, and he revived: wherefore he called the name thereof bEn-hakkore, which is in Lehi unto this day.
20 And he judged Israel in the days of the Philistines twenty years.
Chapter 16

Samson carries away the doors of the gate of Gaza—He loves Delilah, who delivers him to the Philistines—He destroys a building, killing himself and 3,000 others.
1 Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her.
2 And it was told the Gazites, saying, Samson is come hither. And they acompassed him in, and laid wait for him all night in the gate of the city, and were quiet all the night, saying, In the morning, when it is day, we shall kill him.
3 And Samson lay till midnight, and arose at midnight, and took the doors of the gate of the city, and the two posts, and went away with them, bar and all, and put them upon his shoulders, and carried them up to the top of an hill that is before Hebron.
4 ¶And it came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah.
5 And the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and said unto her, aEntice him, and see wherein his great strength lieth, and by what means we may prevail against him, that we may bind him to afflict him: and we will give thee every one of us beleven hundred pieces of silver.
6 ¶And Delilah said to Samson, Tell me, I pray thee, wherein thy great strength lieth, and wherewith thou mightest be bound to afflict thee.
7 And Samson said unto her, If they bind me with seven agreen withs that were never dried, then shall I be weak, and be as another man.
8 Then the lords of the Philistines brought up to her seven green withs which had not been dried, and she bound him with them.
9 Now there were men lying in wait, abiding with her in the chamber. And she said unto him, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he brake the withs, as a thread of tow is broken when it toucheth the fire. So his strength was not known.
10 And Delilah said unto Samson, Behold, thou hast amocked me, and told me lies: now tell me, I pray thee, wherewith thou mightest be bound.
11 And he said unto her, If they bind me fast with new ropes that never were occupied, then shall I be weak, and be as another man.
12 Delilah therefore took new ropes, and bound him therewith, and said unto him, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And there were aliers in wait abiding in the chamber. And he brake them from off his arms like a thread.
13 And Delilah said unto Samson, Hitherto thou hast mocked me, and told me lies: tell me wherewith thou mightest be bound. And he said unto her, If thou weavest the seven locks of my head with the aweb.
14 And she fastened it with the pin, and said unto him, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he awaked out of his sleep, and went away with the pin of the beam, and with the web.
15 ¶And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? thou hast amocked me these three times, and hast not told me wherein thy great strength lieth.
16 And it came to pass, when she pressed him adaily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was bvexed unto death;
17 That he told her all his heart, and said unto her, There hath not come a arazor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother’s womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.
18 And when Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, Come up this once, for he hath shewed me all his heart. Then the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and brought amoney in their hand.
19 And she made him sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head; and she began to afflict him, and his strength went from him.
20 And she said, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he awoke out of his sleep, and said, I will go out as at other times before, and shake myself. And he awist not that the Lord was departed from him.
21 ¶But the Philistines took him, and put out his eyes, and brought him down to Gaza, and bound him with fetters of brass; and he did grind in the prison house.
22 Howbeit the hair of his head began to grow again after he was shaven.
23 Then the lords of the Philistines gathered them together for to offer a great sacrifice unto aDagon their god, and to rejoice: for they said, Our god hath delivered Samson our enemy into our hand.
24 And when the people saw him, they praised their god: for they said, Our god hath delivered into our hands our enemy, and the destroyer of our country, which slew many of us.
25 And it came to pass, when their hearts were merry, that they said, Call for Samson, that he may make us sport. And they called for Samson out of the prison house; and he made them sport: and they set him between the pillars.
26 And Samson said unto the lad that held him by the hand, Suffer me that I may feel the pillars whereupon the house standeth, that I may lean upon them.
27 Now the house was full of men and women; and all the lords of the Philistines were there; and there were upon the roof about three thousand men and women, that beheld while Samson made sport.
28 And Samson called unto the Lord, and said, O Lord God, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee, only this once, O God, that I may be at once avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes.
29 And Samson took hold of the two middle pillars upon which the house stood, and on which it was borne up, of the one with his right hand, and of the other with his left.
30 And Samson said, Let me die with the Philistines. And he bowed himself with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein. So the dead which he slew at his death were more than they which he slew in his life.
31 Then his brethren and all the house of his father came down, and took him, and brought him up, and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the buryingplace of Manoah his father. And he judged Israel twenty years.

Day 5

Day 5- a picture of somewhere you’ve been

This was hard!  There are a lot of cool places I've been!  So far my favorite is NYC December 2009 with some of my favorite people.

Our week in pictures

Looking through my phone, I found a few pictures I thought were blog worthy so here they are.

Adam using self checkout at Smith's

He's a pretty good little cashier!

 


The nice guy in the meat department let Adam watch as he sliced our turkey





Bobo decided to help with laundry today